Vijayawada Trip

Our trip to Vijayawada to attend the marriage of our cousin went on very well. We had started from Bangalore on the 26th by Seshadri Express and reached BZA on 27/11/2009 at around 3 AM. We went to a Hotel and after refreshing ourselves, we went straight to the marriage hall. After attending the marriage we went to Nandyal and returned to Bangalore today i.e. on 29/11/2009. Some of the photos of the marriage are posted here.

'The baby is alright'

‘The baby is alright’, said the pediatrician while going into the nursery. The glass door closed behind him and Ram was not allowed inside. Ram stood there staring through the glass window of the nursery. Lying in one of the incubators was Ram’s baby who was born a day before. The baby was born with severe complications to his wife Lakshmi who had a complicated pregnancy. The baby was kept on ventilator for observation. She was delivered after an emergency operation when doctors found out that her growth had stopped inside the womb. The doctors promised Ram that the baby would recover in the nursery after a couple of days. Ram prayed to God and hoped that every thing would be alright. He came back to the ward after some time and reassured his wife Lakshmi and mother about the baby’s health. He told them not to worry as the doctor has said that the baby was doing fine. It was around 10.00 PM in the night and Ram drove back with his father to his house.
At around midnight, Ram got a call from his mother asking him to come immediately to the hospital. The baby was serious, she said. . Ram rushed back to the hospital and went directly to the nursery where his mother was waiting. The pediatrician came out after sometime and seeing his face Ram could make out that some thing was very serious. ‘I am sorry Ram, the baby could not survive further’ said the doctor. Hearing this, Ram’s mother started crying loudly. The doctor consoled them and walked away. Ram put his arms around his mother and took her to a chair. He asked her to be brave and not to tell Lakshmi anything now. After some time, they went back to the ward. Lakshmi was waiting for them and on seeing them she enquired’ how is the baby’. Ram’s mother could not hide her tears and she broke down immediately. Ram, however, kept his calm and did not divulge anything to Lakshmi. He said ‘everything is alright; doctors are attending to the baby. Do not worry’.

Next morning, Ram and his cousin went to mortuary where the baby was shifted. They took the baby and went to the banks of Yamuna river. Ram’s cousin took the baby in his hands and did the last rites. Tears started rolling down Ram’s eyes. All of his family’s efforts for almost 9 months for a safe delivery had gone waste.

‘This is your last chance’, the doctor has said to Lakshmi after she developed many complications during her pregnancy. She developed high blood pressure, diabetes and her kidney related complications. She was hospitalized for almost 5 times during the course of 9 months and a gynecologist, an endocrinologist and a nephrologist had attended to her continuously. The doctors wanted this pregnancy to be successful at any cost as they knew Lakshmi could not take the risk of another pregnancy again as she had developed too many complications. Ram’s family had very high hopes on this pregnancy but all hopes were dashed on that night.

Ram came back to the ward and met his wife Lakshmi but did not disclose anything to her. She constantly kept enquiring about the baby. She had not seen her at all as the baby was immediately shifted to the nursery immediately after the operation. Only Ram had seen the baby and that too when she being taken to the nursery by the pediatricians. The doctors had given her 50-50 chance of survival keeping in view the nature of complications the baby was born with.

Ram could not muster enough courage to tell her the truth. He tried to divert her but Lakshmi won’t listen. ‘I want to see the baby’, she demanded. How long could he hide the truth from her? When he finally told her the truth, hell broke loose and Lakshmi was inconsolable.

Ram just prayed to God to give his family some courage to face the crisis.
                                                        

The first step is the last step

The first step is the last step Posted: ... The first step is the last step. The first step is to perceive, perceive what you are thinking, perceive your ambition, perceive your anxiety, your loneliness, your despair, this extraordinary sense of sorrow, perceive it, without any condemnation, justification, without wishing it to be different. Just to perceive it, as it is. When you perceive it as it is, then there is a totally different kind of action taking place, and that action is the final action. Right? That is, when you perceive something as being false or as being true, that perception is the final action, which is the final step. Now listen to it. I perceive the falseness of following somebody else, somebody else's instruction—Krishna, Buddha, Christ, it does not matter who it is. I see, there is the perception of the truth that following somebody is utterly false. Because your reason, your logic and everything points out how absurd it is to follow somebody. Now that perception is the final step, and when you have perceived, you leave it, forget it, because the next minute you have to perceive anew, which is again the final step.Krishnamurti in India 1970-71, p 50

Ramanasramam Trip 07 Nov 09

Our recent trip to Ramasramam was  on the 7th Nov 09. We had planned it just a week before and the Ashram Authorities were kind enough to give us accomodation. All of our family members were present along with Venkatesh and his wife. There were heavy rains all along and we decided to come back the next day when the rain stopped. The unfortunate thing was that we could not set out for Girivallam.

Annual Ramanasrama Trip

Our Annual trip to Ramanasramam took place on 29, 30 & 31st of August 2009. Unlike last time, this time the group size was reduced drastically and we were only 7 people who had come to the Ashram. The notable absentees were Venkayya mamayya and his family, my wife and others. However, we seven went around Girivallam and stayed in the Ashram for three days. This was the first occasion for Babuji to come to the Ashram. Our Big Boss had come all the way from Delhi and joined us at Bangalore. It was quite an enjoyable experience all the way.